Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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