I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
