sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
