if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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