...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize