Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
