you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
