Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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