That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
