So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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