I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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