What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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