I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
