So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
