i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
