I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
