You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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