Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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