Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
