Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
