so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
