So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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