oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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