Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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