I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
