i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
