oh god the rape fog is back!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
