yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
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