I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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