her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
