I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
