The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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