At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize