remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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