I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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