hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
