im holly from the hills drunk
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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