I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
