I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
