If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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