So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
