the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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