At least make sure they are 18
Why
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
