I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
