That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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