In the future we'll all be gay
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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