why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
