I smell stomach acid.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
