i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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