You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
