Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
