turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
