My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize