Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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