I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
