Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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