very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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