i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
