So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
