Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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